This content is recommended for 30~60 minute sessions. Note that tutors may not be familiar with the content. Make sure you consult with your tutor before using this material.
After a quick greeting, read the following article out loud. Your tutor will go over pronunciation if necessary.
[P1] Next time you go to a traditional networking event, a cocktail party, or a dinner, do us all a favor: Lose the elevator pitch. That approach is quickly losing relevancy in making authentic connections that could open doors for you.
[P2] Instead, your first order of priority is to take the attention off yourself and put it squarely on the other person sitting or standing across from you. You start by asking the right questions and listening more than you speak (more on that below). And, of course, always be conscious of having open and positive body language.
[P3] Try any of these tactics to keep yourself on track to having exceptional conversations. Now you’re off to the races.
1. Become genuinely interested in the other person.
[P4] George Mason University psychologist Todd Kashdan, author of Curious?, determined that being interested in others is more important than being interesting yourself. “It’s the secret juice of relationships,” stated Kashdan. So, whatever you do, talk in terms of the other person’s interest. You’ll be surprised by the outcome.
2. Show those pearly whites.
[P5] According to Psychology Today, research has determined that smiling can make us appear more attractive to others. It also lifts our mood as well as the moods of those around us. Most of us aren’t fully aware of when we’re not smiling. Make smiling a habit.
3. Give the gift of a “five-minute favor.”
[P6] Five-minute favors are giving acts, without asking for anything in return from the person whom you’re offering help. Examples of five-minute favors include sharing knowledge; making an introduction; serving as a reference for a person, product, or service; or recommending someone on LinkedIn, Yelp, or another social place.
4. Listen more. Speak less.
[P7] Want to create a great first impression? Let the other person speak without interruption. Yes, I’m talking about parking your thoughts and avoiding jumping in and finishing the other person’s sentence or waiting impatiently for your chance to respond. When you actively listen, it will draw the other person to you with equal or greater interest. So go ahead, give the other person your full attention. What you’re communicating is “I am interested in what you have to say.”
5. Make the other person feel important–and do it sincerely.
[P8] The best conversations with someone you just met are initiated by wanting to learn about the other person: what they do, how they do it, and why they do it. This goes back to having a high curiosity quotient. By wanting to learn from someone — even someone younger and less experienced than you — you will garner an immediate positive first impression.
6. Tell a good story.
[P9] So now that you’ve captivated the person you’re talking to, they probably want to know about you, so it’s your turn to shine. Rather than boring them with work or with business-related lingo (that will come later), it’s good to have a few go-to stories you can pull out of your hat to keep the momentum going. Have stories you can share that have been tested with other audiences and found to be reliably funny, entertaining, informative, or engaging. Scott Adams, author of How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, suggests putting your focus on stories about other people rather than things, because most of us find human behavior fascinating.
[P10] If you haven’t caught on yet, the key for your new social approach is this: You take the initiative and make the conversation about the other person. People love to talk about themselves–if they have something worth talking about that adds value to the conversation. Once they know you’re not a wacko, if you ask a genuine question first (try “what’s your story?”), they’ll appreciate your showing interest. This selfless act of putting the spotlight on someone else makes you the more interesting person in the room.
Read the word/expression and definition out loud. Your tutor will go over anything you do not understand. Practice creating a sentence or two to make sure you know how to use the word/expression properly.
|elevator pitch||(n) a short description of a product or business idea, especially one given to a possible investor
e.g. The breakfast gathering will also feature elevator pitches from six start-up companies hoping to find new partners or funding opportunities.
|authentic||(adj) real or genuine : not copied or false
e.g. The document is authentic.
|jump in||(expression) to say something about a subject that another person is already talking about : to join a conversation
e.g. Jump in if you have any questions.
|lingo||(n) the special language used for a particular activity or by a particular group of people
e.g. Basketball has a distinct lingo.
|catch on||(expression) to learn or understand something
e.g. Once you start playing the game, the kids will catch on pretty quickly.
Use the following questions as a guideline to help develop an interesting conversation with your tutor. Feel free to diverge from these suggestions if anything interesting comes up.
- Summarize the article in your own words.
- What are the 6 things that smart people do to have interesting conversation?
- What are some of your good stories that you can share?
- Think of someone that you really like having conversations with. What qualities do they have? Share your thoughts with your Cambly tutor!